WOW Moments

This week was filled with what many would call "WOW Moments" as well as body dysmorphia moments.

First, I've been comfortably wearing my size 20 jeans. I am loving it! But it causes some head games. When I look down at my legs I think "Man those look so much skinnier than I remember!" And then I look in the mirror or see a picture of myself in them and think, "Ugh I am still fat and I don't see much of a change." especially when I look at those pictures next to the "before" pictures.

Still, at least for the most part I go with what I see when I look down at myself and legs, because I think and feel so much skinnier and even, dare I say, sexier?!

So some little WOW Moments have been that my office chair has seemingly grown bigger. I now somehow have extra room in it. If I kick my legs up to recline I'm not uncomfortable anymore and I can even cross my legs in my chair, which I never could do before.

When I cross my legs now I don't need to hoist them up by hand. I can lift my leg up without aid and cross them effortlessly. On top of that I have a HOLE!! Yep, when I cross my legs and put my ankle on my knee there is not a big gaping hole in the shape of a triangle when I look down. I can fit my arm through it and still have room to spare! The last I remember, I had to physically lift my foot to my knee and once my legs were "crossed" it was just a pool of fat thighs. There was no hole or gap what so ever.

My seat belt fits a LOT better. Before I used to worry about the seat belt not fitting. Sometimes I'd just barely get the belt around me and snapped. Now without thinking, I don't have to pull the belt all the way out until I can't anymore before buckling, and now I have to usually tighten it up!

My shoes are too big!! I know I had heard that feet shrink too, but I didn't think that after a short 4 months my sandals would be too big for me, but they are. I now have to Velcro them on as tight as possible, but they still end up flopping around too much, and it's too late in the season to get new ones. Besides the Fall season is around the corner and most stores don't have good sandals left anyways. As it is it's probably a good thing I didn't get new winter shoes last year when my old ones finally split. Instead I just kept them together with duck tape for most of the season. Now that my shoe size is smaller, if I had gotten shoes last winter they'd probably be to big this winter. Who'da thunk it?!

I need a new swimsuit too! My old one is too big for me and was so stretched out from my fatness that it's worn in a few places. DH finally noticed this today while we were swimming, despite me having told him I needed a new one earlier, LOL Plus my straps won't stay up either. I guess it's a good thing we'll probably not be swimming again any time soon.

WOW I really am a size 20! I still can't get my head around that. I went shopping today for a new shirt since ALL of my shirts are too big for me right now. Granted they don't fall off of me, but they do cover up my progress and I swim in them. So I went looking for shirts and it was a PITA. I am now in an "in between" size. In the regular sizes I am too big or they have no stock left for the 18/20 sizes and in the plus sizes I am too small and they too are all out of stock of the 18/20 sizes. So I guess I am not alone in this size category, but it does make shopping frustrating. Still when I went to try on the size 20 shirts I went in thinking they'd all be too small and tight. NOPE! they all fit well, although one was a little too tight but very cute and it's one I could easily shrink into as time went on, but I had a budget and needed to stick to it so I picked the shirt I loved the most, even though I wanted to get most of them.

There are just so many little "WOW Moments" I get here and there that actually shock and surprise me. I am still an awe of the scale each week, even though day by day it seems like the scale barely moves. When I go back and look at my weight sheet I can clearly see that I am losing 1-3lbs each week and occasionally I will hit a small stall, but consistantly it is going in the down direction.

I still can't fathom being below 200, or fathom that I could potentially have lost 100 pounds OR MORE before the end of the month (at this rate before next weekend!)! That I could potentially need smaller clothes by the holidays too! Yikes!!

Ok this has gotten longer than I expected. I guess what I am saying is that every little WOW adds up and ends up making me feel better about myself in some small way or another.

I feel my self confidence rising every time a new WOW gets noticed or when I catch myself in a mirror looking better than I remembered from my fatter days.

All in all I am loving my sleeve dispite the tiny quantities of food I can have now and dispite the fact that I can't always eat what my head would like to eat. Those resrictions are a good thing and I am seeing the results daily.