Sweet 16!

I can now officially fit into a size 16!!

How sweet is that! I never thought I'd be able to do that again in my life and yet it has happened!

I am 15lbs away from making it to my 199 goal and I have around 30 days left before Thanksgiving so I doubt I'll lose 1 pound every 2 days, but oh well. At least I'll be very close to 199 by T-day, although I am sure I'll gain like 5 lbs on T-day. But I doubt I'll be able to eat much, LOL.

Hubby is Staring to Lose

His wardrobe now. LOL

Tonight I wanted to get comfortable and put some PJ's on, but all of my sleepware is too big for me and those that do fit loosely are shorts and it's too cold for shorts right now.

So I picked up a pair of my DH's lounge pants and checked the tab and they said "L" I put them up to my body to see if they, perhaps, would fit and it seemed like they might. So I slipped them on, and to my surprise they fit perfectly! I even have room left over!

I've NEVER been able to fit into any of my husband's pants before. lounge pants or otherwise! I am slowly getting close to fitting into his jeans now though, and I know he is getting nervous because he knows that when that happens then hit wardrob will shrink as he watches my wardrobe grow, LOL

Well it'll be more like sharing clothes. I won't completely take over his clothes, but it'll be nice to turn to his side of the closet and drawers for some clothes if I need them.

I still can't believe I can actually FIT into a pair of his pants right now. ::giddy::

The answer is . . .

looks like it might be! Woke up to a weight of 219.4! Finally below that 220 mark. Took me long enough too. Here's to hoping that the trend continues and I reach 216 by next Friday.

And here's to hoping really hard that it continues without another stall so that I can get to 199 by T-day.

Is My Stall Over?

I am crossing my fingers in a desperate hope that it is.

AF, finally arrived a WEEK LATE!!! I have no idea why, but since veteran WLS people say this is normal, then I will go with the "it's normal" line. I know hormones are all out of whack still, but things like this frighten me since I really would like one more baby, but I am 34 and already have 7 children. Still after I miscarried in Aug '08 I still have my baby blanket fabric and notions for that final baby blanket. I look at it everytime I open the linen drawer and hope that one day I will have a viable baby to make it for. {{{SIGH}}}

Ok enough with all that.

So, on Sept 22nd I reached the 100lbs milestone. Then on Sept 26th I reached my lowest weight of 220.2lbs. Then . . . . .nothing.

My weight fluctuated between 221 and 224. I was frustrated and even a little depressed. I figured it was just water weight for PMS'ing, thinking AF would come soon. So I waited, and waited, and waited. I took several pregnancy tests, all negative, just to make sure. On Tuesday Oct 15, I finally gave up, thinking AF just wasn't going to come. I think that relaxed me enough, because the next day AF arrived. WHEW!!!

Now I am on the down turn again it seems. Tonight before I head off to bed, the scale read 220.6 lbs. I am fairly certain it won't go below 220 in the morning, just because I want it to, ROFLOL. That always seems to be the case. If I really, really, really want the scale to move down, just a few points. . .it won't. Just to spite me, it doesn't move.

I am just really excited to see 219 on the scale soon. I am also REALLY hoping to hit 216 by Friday. That is my goal right now.

Of course the next goal after that is 206 and then 199 or even 196 would be nice, by Thanksgiving. But seeing as I had a 3 week stall recently, I expect I'll have another stall and probably won't be below 200 by T-Day like I want. But we shall see. Perhaps I will hit a stride and drop 20lbs in 5½ weeks; but I will not hold my breath too hard on it.

So stay tuned to see if my stall is finally over or not. And for me, I deem a stall over if I can get 2-3lbs below. (For example I like to be at 217 or 218 instead of 220; or 207 or 208 instead of 210, does that make any sense?)

Stall Frustrations

I know I haven't updated in a while, and it's because I haven't had much to report on.

I have been stuck for nearly 3 weeks now. It's been 17 days and counting. It's absolutely frustrating to not see the scale move. I FEEL like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. Carbs are low and water it good, exercise it normal.

The only difference is AF is LATE! And before you suggest that I may be pregnant . . . well several tests have said otherwise. They are all negative. That's yet another frustrating aspect of this because I know when and if AF arrives that afterwords my hormones will stabilize and I will lose weight again for about a week or two.

I don't know what more to do but wait and just keep hoping that things will start moving in the right direction again soon.

It's just that the closer my goal date gets the more frustrated and even depressed I get at the thought of possibly not reaching that goal. I just want to get there before all of my family sees me for the first time since my surgery. {{sigh}}

Just needed to whine a little.

Woes of Womanhood

Sometimes it can be really frsutrating to be a woman trying to lose weight. These freaky hormones play games with us and I am at that stage in the "cycle" where I am not losing anything, worth talking about.

I know it "passes" and all but gosh darn it; it's damn frustrating!

For a week and a half to 2½ weeks I "stall" and sometimes even gain some weight and while logically I understand it's part of the womanly cycle, the bigger more scared part of me panicks. I start thinking:

"Is this all I am going to lose?"
"Does this make me a failure?"
"Will I never make it to that next goal?"
"Will I never fit into those size 14's or 12's?"
"Am I really destined to be obese for the rest of my life, even with this tool?!"
"If I don't lose more weight than this, or get to a normal weight, my family will think the surgery was a waste!"

I think a SAFreak really goes straight to these thoughts and questions when a stall happens reguardless of why. It's tough this first year to ever imagine losing 100lbs or more. But then you do. But then things slow down drastically and then roller coaster of WLS woes sets in, and I just can't help it.

I know I am not eating over 1000 calories. Maybe one day my food choices weren't the best, but when I get back on plan or turn to the 5 day pouch test, NOTHING happens to my weight, and I really start to think "this must be it".

I still have a couple of days to go before I should be riding the crimson wave, but the mind games I go through, with myself, are amazing and even sometimes depressing. I knw what people say, about I will continue to lose weight, but of course it's always easier to say that when you've reached goal or have been post-op for over a year or more while being at goal. I'm nearly 6 months out and still freaking I won't get to goal by my 1 year surgiversary.

{{SIGH}}

I really wish I didn't have to have it so much harder than men. These freaky hormones are the bane of my weight loss existence, right now.