Hanging by a Thread

Friday I had my PCP appointment. I told them my upcoming dates for Pre-Op testing and nutrition class. The nurse then was confused because my Pre-op was for April 8th and the PCP who attends the POTing is usually there but the PCP will be out of town on the 8th.

UGH! So after my appointment I think they notified Hurley of the discrepancies and then Hurley changed my POT dated for April 1st. This Wednesday.

Then I was stuck with a weekend so couldn't call anyone. I was going to call to see if I could move the POT for April 15th.

I wake up today to 5 calls from Hurley and a message asking me to call them ASAP. I already figured it was about insurance. So I called back and the conversation went in circles. They notified me my insurance is deactivated. Yes I know. Once I get a bill I pay COBRA and everything will be paid through insurance retroactively. I asked them if they would like to call insurance and they said no that it was my responsibility. Then J (the person I was talking to) said she needed to talk to her manager. She did and then came back with that they decided to just cancel my surgery. I was like WTF?!?! I am being punished because YOU moved my POT date up a week! If the POT was still set for April 8th then COBRA would have been paid by then and insurance would be active. Well they couldn't wait and if I went in for pre-op testing on April 1st without active insurance then I'd have to pay $250 up front to the hospital and if I don't get pre-op testing done then I can't get the surgery.

Then she decided to try and make me feel guilty for the pre-op diet kit, because THEY chose to and offered to pay for it considering our financial situation and the fact that we couldn't pay for it AND COBRA. She said "Well because we paid for the kit, we feel like we're losing money and that is why we want to cancel your surgery." I NEVER asked them to pay for the kit. They paid for it themselves. I was more than willing to pay for food out of pocket from a grocery store (food stamps) to follow they liquid diet.

I was in tears begging and pleading for them not to cancel. I have followed all the rules and done all the paperwork and just because a computer screen says deactivated on my insurance they want to scrap the whole thing. They didn't want to give me the opportunity to even fix or remedy the situation . . at first. I was so upset and crying I had to hang up on her.

I immediately called insurance and we (dh and I, since I could barely talk) talked with them on how to get this paid and active by April 1st or by the end of today so they don't cancel the surgery. We ended up having to physically drive down to the office and make a payment. They also need to draw up paperwork stating we are active and that the surgery will be covered. Then we have to hand deliver that tot he bariatric clinic so they won't cancel the surgery. It's an hour's drive down to Detroit from here, just one way. On the way my DH had to stop off at my sister's whom I had to call and ask to borrow the extra $135 we needed to be covered up through the surgery date.

Pay for all of this now though leaves us broke, which means I won't be able to see my mom on Sunday when she has a brief layover visit at the Detroit Airport. I haven't seen her in 2 years and she hasn't met my youngest son yet either. I still have to make that call to her. She has cancer and has severe knee problems since her surgery last year. She's been in constant pain for 8 months and is at the point of just wanting to have her whole leg removed from the knee down.

She's going down to see my brother graduate from the Marine academy this weekend. I was looking forward to seeing her one last time before my surgery.

I don't know. If anything else goes wrong today I don't think I am going to make it through it. I started my pre-liquid diet yesterday but I am so upset the one protein shake I had today has just made me sick to my stomach. All of this stress is NOT Helping and then for the clinic to threaten me with a cancellation is NOT helping in any way shape or form. Dh is at the point of saying "Ya know what, let's just not do this right now." but then he wants ME to stop the surgery so he doesn't look like the jerk.

He says he supports me and my decision, but it's difficult knowing he'd rather use the money for other things than this surgery.

I feel like I am being punished for following directions. I feel like I am being punished for the clinic moving the date up. I feel like I am being punished for the PCP doctor taking the original POT week off for the moving up the date of the POT. I'm doing what is asked of me, every single step of the way. I've made the calls and paid the money and yet I am still at risk for losing this surgery because of insurance bureaucracy and hoops. It's bad enough companies are given a 2 month grace period to screw me over out of money. COBRA would have cost 65% LESS had the companies got on track with Obama's Stimulus plan.

I just feel really screwed and not in a good way. I can't even write this without crying. Why does this have to be so difficult?!

Pre-Op Testing Moved

My pre-op testing date has been moved up to April 1st. Ugh That's next week! in 5 DAYS!!!!

I am so not ready for that. I think it is going to make this process seem longer now. I'll have 3 weeks with nothing to do but eat liquids. So not fun.

So now

April 1st - Pre-Op testing
April 2nd - Nutrition class
April 24th - Surgery

I have 22 days inbetween the nutrition class and surgery.

One month away.

3 weeks are going to go by fast. I'm starting to freak out about the impending surgery now. I saw some post-op pictures of the incisions and bruising and I took a big hard gulp at the upcoming pain I'll be in. I endure things I really don't like to endure and this will just be one more thing. Plus I know it will be completely worth it in the end. . . .right?!

I went to a support group on Tuesday and felt like the odd ball out since I am the only VSG'er there. Plus I knew more about the surgery than the facilitator did. She didn't even know Hurley was offering the VSG now. That just shows you how NEW this is up here. Makes it even more scary being one of the first here at Hurley getting the VSG.

I really hate the fact that I am a VSGer in a RNY world right now, and at the same time I like it. I like knowing I am helping to bring this new surgery to Mid-Michigan, I just don't like feeling so alone right now. All the advice I get right now is for RNYers. It's fine for them and all, but I believe our post-op experiences might be different. You know it'd be like a mom of a singleton going to a mom group for multiples. Sure they have babies but those with 2 will have completely different concerns and problems than the mom with only 1 baby. Does that make any sense?!

Even at church there are a couple of people who have had WLS and they both had RNY so again more RNY advice.

My other fear is me screwing this up somehow and not being able to lose the weight I need to. Although at this point I'll settle for getting down to 250! That's only like 60lbs away (UGH). I'm sure I'll lose more than that, but I still worry. And all of this worrying is NOT helping!!!

My stress is through the roof and because it is so is my eating. Starting Sunday I am starting a pre-liquid-liquid-diet. I want to liquify my diet before i have to in order to try and lose as much weight as possible before the surgery. Of course today I found out there is an April fool's party for the homeschoolers. . .on April fool's day of course. That will start my test off on whether or not I'll be able to handle this new lifestyle. Then IF and that is a HUGE "IF" my sister decides she actually wants to have dinner with us at some point this Easter season (I'll bet anyone $20 it won't happen though) thenthat will be my next big test. Otherwise everything will be done from home, hopefully fairly easily.

April 2nd I have my nutrition meeting and again I think it will be a lesson on post-op foods and I'll again be clumped in with the RNYers. I know post-op for the first 6 weeks will probably be the same but after that I think things will be different. I don't know really but I at least have my support boards of VSGers on hand to help out.

I hope those who have watched, have enjoyed my new Vlog. I know some have said I look comfortable in front of the camera, but in actuality I am terrified. I absolutely HATE watching myself on video like that too. blech! Still my 4yo son LOVES and I mean LOVES my intro. LOL, he asks to watch it all the time or to at least listen to the music. When I do play it he sings along with it. It's too funny! LOL

Ok so that's pretty much all I have right now. Just a bunch of pre surgical fears and worries. I hope these pass but I am sure I will be petrified as I walk into the hospital to go under the knife.

Surgery day is April 24th at 7am. Yikes!

I'm Planning on Vlogging